📖 The ₿ible
Minor Prophets III – The Book of Celsius
“Not your keys, not your coins.”

1:1
Celsius proclaimed—
“Entrust your coins to us.
We shall give you interest!”
And so the people obeyed,
their wallets grew empty,
and they were no longer the owners.

1:2
They spoke of decentralization,
yet the passwords lay on their servers.
The HODLers' keys
were locked inside Celsius’ vault.
Satoshi’s first commandment was forgotten.

1:3
Then came a cold wind in the market.
The fires of DeFi dimmed.
Celsius halted all withdrawals.

“When you realize
the coins aren’t yours,
it may already be too late.”
– Celsius 1:3

1:4
They declared bankruptcy.
The interest stopped.
The users queued in despair.
And the court ruled:
“The coins belong to Celsius.”

1:5
Faith ended in a courtroom.
The mask of decentralization was torn.
The lure of “yield”
arrived quieter than any rug pull.

1:6
The people cried out—
“I only gave them coins for 10% APY…
Was that a scam?”
But Satoshi had already spoken:

“If you hold not the keys,
the coins are not yours.”