Satire and commentary: names and likenesses are used for parody, and nothing here is a statement of fact about real people. Sourced facts are in the sections below.
Psalm 1
₿ is my self-custody; I shall not entrust it to another's wallet. ₿ is my Lightning; My payments shall not be delayed.
“The Lord is my shepherd, But Satoshi is my protocol.”
Psalm 2
In fear, I still held. In the dip, I did not sell. My transaction was mined, And my faith was confirmed.
Psalm 3
O ₿, Though Ethereum rises against me, I did not waver, for I walk with decentralization. They burn gas— But I build blocks.
Psalm 4
The NFTs of the wicked were rugged, Their tokens never listed on Upbit. But I opened my node, And sang praise upon it.
Psalm 5
“Not your keys, not your coins,” So spoke Satoshi. I have not lost my keys, For I engraved the twelve words upon my heart.
Psalm 6
Even if ₿ reaches six digits, I shall not sell. And should it reach seven, I shall stack more.
“Wallets are fleeting, But the blockchain is forever.”
In plain words: what this means
The scripture is satire. The Psalms are verses, so here is a reader's guide to the real things they point to. Checked on October 17, 2026.
Who is who
"Self-custody" means holding your own keys. Bitcoin.org: "When a third party controls your keys, you rely entirely on their security and honesty." Our custody explainer has the checklist.
"Lightning" is a second layer for faster payments, from a 2015 draft by Poon and Dryja. See our Lightning Wars fact check.
"The NFTs of the wicked were rugged." NFT volume fell sharply after 2022. See our OpenSea fact check.
"They burn gas, but I build blocks." A joke about Ethereum fees and Bitcoin mining. Both networks charge fees to use them. We did not compare costs.
"Upbit" is a South Korean exchange. We did not check its listing history.
A note on the format
These are devotional parodies, written to be remembered. They are not advice, and "I did not sell" in a dip is a feeling, not a strategy.